Sunni Muslim Wedding Ceremony

Mangni: The engagement

The groom's family makes an offer for the bride's hand in marriage. On reaching a favourable decision, elders from both families meet and decide on a suitable date for the wedding.

The groom arrives with his entourage at the bride's home. Leading the procession are several traditionally dressed young girls carrying clay pots containing 'mehendi' (henna), herbal oil, 'uptan' (a paste of turmeric, sandalwood powder and herbs) and each one has an oil lamp lit on it.

The groom's mother gifts her future daughter-in-law several sets of clothes complete with accessories, toiletries and as many as five sets of jewellery all artistically gift-wrapped. In affluent families a set of diamond jewellery is considered essential. The groom's mother slips the engagement ring on the bride's finger though in liberal families the groom may do this himself. The bride's parents gift the groom a suitcase full of clothes, accessories and toiletries.

After the ring ceremony a cake is cut, the 'dholak' (small drum) brought out and Punjabi songs sung with gusto!

Jora Katai: The collection of the trousseau officially begins

Several weeks before the wedding, the female relatives gather at the bride's home. The tailor is called in to take her measurements and the first garment for the trousseau is cut.

Later in the evening the men folk join in the celebration of this event and dance and sing to the beat of the 'dholak'.

Haldi Ceremony: Beautification of the bride

Two days prior to the wedding, the ladies of the family gather at the bride's home. The older women apply herbal oil on her head and braid her hair into a series of fine plaits. 'Uptan' is applied on her body as a purification rite. In the evening the plaits are opened and the bride has a ritual bath.

A simpler ceremony with a symbolic application of 'uptan' is performed for the groom on the same day.

Mehendi and Shukrana: The bride and groom are blessed and presented their trousseaux

This ceremony of blessing the couple is conducted in the groom's home first and then in the bride's. The bride's family takes decorated clay pots with lighted oil lamps on top containing 'uptan', 'mehendi' (henna) and oil to the groom's house. 'Mehendi' is symbolically applied to the groom's little finger while professional 'mehendi' artists apply fine designs of 'mehendi' on the hands of the ladies present. The bride's family also takes clothes, accessories and gifts for the groom.

The groom's family reciprocates by arriving at the bride's home later, carrying decorated pots in quite the same manner as was done by the bride's family. The clay pots contain 'uptan', 'mehendi' and oil and have lighted lamps on top. They also bring with them the bride's trousseau consisting of several sets of clothes (always an uneven number), footwear, accessories, nightwear, undergarments, towels and toiletries.

The bride may not meet the groom that evening. She remains seated inside the house while professional 'mehendiwallis' trace intricate designs with henna on her hands and feet.

Nikaah: The marriage contract

On the morning of the 'nikaah' the groom gets dressed in traditional attire and visits the mosque accompanied by his 'baraat' (male friends and relatives).

A representative of the 'maulvi' (Muslim priest) and a 'gavaah' (witness, usually an uncle) take the 'Nikaahnaamah' (marriage contract) to the bride's house for her to read and sign. This document includes the amount of the 'mehr' (literally, bride's price), which was given earlier by mutual consent. She must read the whole document and give her 'qabool' (acceptance) and only then sign on it. The 'Nikaahnaamah' is then taken back to the mosque where the groom and his 'baraat' are waiting.

This signed marriage contract is read aloud to all the men folk present, the groom gives his 'qabool' and signs it as well. The 'Agadh-e-nikaah' is then read out to give the contract religious sanction.

The groom and his 'baraat' then leave for the bride's home where they are ceremonially received by the men folk in her family. A black goat is brought to the groom around which, the groom waves some money to ward off the presence of any evil. He is then taken to meet his wife and is allowed to sit beside her.

Ruksati: Bridal send off

The bride's maternal aunt feeds the groom milk and then feeds the bride from the same tumbler. The groom reads out the first page of the Holy Quran. Members of both families view the bride and groom as a married couple for the first time and shower them with gifts of money. This is called the 'mooh dikhai' (literally translated it means 'showing of the face').

Valima: Wedding reception

While the 'nikaah' may be a small, private affair, the 'valima' must be celebrated with great pomp and splendour and in large numbers. The bride and groom are now recognized as a married couple and all the guests are a witness to this union by Islamic law. This celebration is replete with a grand feast consisting of the traditional Muslim 'biryani' (rice cooked with lamb).